The Truth about Anal Sex

Anal sex is super trendy right now. Among heterosexual couples it used to be a novelty, edgy and unique, the indie rock of sexual activities. But just like indie rock, it’s gone mainstream. Your friends are doing it, politicians are doing it. Statistically, there’s a 74% chance that your parents are having anal sex at this very moment. Don’t kill the messenger.

So what’s the appeal? I mean, look, if you’re a gay male, I totally get it. You have one-third fewer orifices to choose from, so you might as well use them all. That’s just common sense. But I think we can agree that Mother Nature has done an excellent job with the vagina. If you have access to one, there just isn’t a compelling reason to stray. I’ve never thought to myself mid-coitus, wow, I’m really enjoying this bout of vigorous vaginal intercourse…except…well, I really wish I had a filthier, stinkier hole in which to insert my clean penis.

Why are we all abandoning the trusty vulva? To be fair, the fact that you ladies hemorrhage from your crotch every month is off-putting, I’ll be honest. Actually, it’s like, slasher-film level creepy. But otherwise…woot!

To each his/her own. No judgment. If you have a hankering for anus, knock yourself out. But as for me: vaginas ftw.