If you drink a lot of Snapple, you’re probably absorbing a bunch of useless trivia from the inside of each cap…facts that are instantly forgotten until they somehow become relevant during an argument with your girlfriend, at which time you’ll inevitably misquote them and end up looking like an idiot.
Regardless, the below facts have all been verified. Feel free to use them to win money or piss off your significant other.
(Tangent: why are these lists always titled “true facts”? Aren’t facts true by definition? Anyhoo.)
1. A group of ferrets is referred to as a “business.”
This may be the most awesome fact ever. I love the idea of a business run by ferrets. If my job was to dispense loans, I would SO approve a business loan for ferrets.
I wonder what type of business a bunch of ferrets would create. I’m picturing some kind of factory with ferrets in trucker hats manning (ferreting?) the assembly line while other ferrets pace around carrying clipboards and holding pencils behind their ferret-ears. Ferrets seem chill, but it would suck if ferret managers were all super hardcore, making everyone stay late and work on weekends and such. That would totally ruin my image of ferrets.
Btw, a group of goats is called a trip, according to Snapple. So there’s that.
2. Tigers have striped skin underneath their fur.
Who discovered this fact? Who’s shaving tigers? I assume the tigers are being shaved postmortem, which is some seriously pansy bullshit. If you’re determined to shave a tiger, you should have to do it rodeo style. Rope that fucker, wrestle him to the ground, and shave his ass. If you can do that, mad respect. But don’t complain if he goes all Siegfried and Roy on you.
I wouldn’t try to shave a housecat, let alone a tiger. Felines do not mess around, and will resort to ass-kickery the moment you brandish a razor. Justifiably.
3. It’s impossible to lick your own elbow.
Don’t believe me? Go ahead and try. I’ll wait.
See? A little trust, next time.
4. Between 25% to 33% of the population sneeze when they are exposed to light.
I do. That officially makes me a minority. Sweet. If I end up going to grad school, I’m all over the financial aid.